POSITIVE FRIENDSHIP 2
Honestly, I had a tiresome week and was planning on procrastinating this but a sense of duty compelled me to work on it. I have been reading some Aristotle of late specifically Book 8 and 9 of Nicomachean Ethics which was occasionally a bit dull but fairly easy reading thus making me take a turn on what I had planned on, hope you get the gist. The old Greek makes points which on the surface don’t seem revolutionary ,but they are shrewd and insightful enough to crystalize truths that, otherwise ,would be difficult to articulate .
Naturally we are created to form relationships with others. According to Aristotle, there are three types of friendships: those based on utility, those based on delight or pleasure and those grounded in virtue.
Friendships of utility.
Your classmate is your friend because you gain something when you study together, my neighbor is my friend because she waters my plants when I have a busy day and I take care of her dog when she is away. My workmate is my friend because we take turns going out on coffee runs or take away lunch. My mechanic is my friend because it benefits me when my car is in his garage and I am his because he wants my business. This is the “scratch my back and let me scratch yours” type of friendship that is selfishly motivated though mutually beneficial.
Friendship of pleasure.
these are relationships we form to eventuate our own pleasure also known as self-focused relationships. Our drinking buddies, those we hook up with, the crazy friends that fit perfectly in our lives because of their funny nature. The stress relievers that enjoy safaris and call you on weekends to remind you of your trip to Mombasa or the luscious, toothsome nyama choma in Maasai Mara. Temporary friends based on utility or pleasure will end when their objects end. Your workmate or mechanic will cut ties when a better opportunity presents itself or one may neglect or overlook deeper on the greater potentials. A friendship with an exciting person will end once he becomes boring, the guy you hooked up with will have to leave once you loose interest. These are people we have to meet in our lives unless you are born and raised in a house. For instance, business relations are necessary since a single man is not economically self-sufficient. Know the limits.
Friendship of virtue.
This is where a friend honors you, respects you, appreciates your abilities, celebrates your success and is always ready to help because he knows your worth. The friends that want what is good for you for your own sake. This type of friendship is hard to find and develop but if you manage to find a handful of good friends or even one count yourself lucky and blessed. A friend will tell you what you want to hear, but a GOOD friend will always tell you WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR. Have a Blessed Sabbath and a nice weekend with your friends.